The Incredibles on Being "Special"

I drafted this post ages ago - and would've bet the farm that I had posted it. Clearly I was wrong. In any case, having re-read it just now, I realize that writing about being special made me launch into a relatively dismal self-assessment because I'm a neurotic nutjob, and because I'm fairly ordinary - but because I'm desperately trying to be more confident and stop caring so damn much about what everyone else thinks, I'm posting it.

John and I just re-watched The Incredibles - a movie we saw when we had literally just started dating. We loved it - adored it - couldn't wait to see it again - even dressed up as the parents on our first Halloween. And while we did watch it again when it appeared on DVD, I feel as if too much time has passed since we gave it another go, so I'm glad we recently did. It is by far, one of my favorite movies. Certainly, it doesn't hurt that it has sentimental value as well, but outside of that, the movie is just plain awesome because the messages are brilliant. Gotta love Brad Bird.

One of my favorite quotes is what Dash says to his mother when she says that "everyone is special." Dash quickly retorts, "Which is another way of saying no one is."

This is one of my biggest pet peeves about a lot of parents these days. Everyone thinks their kid is special - but if that were true, well, then Dash is quite right... no one is. What makes anything/anyone special is the fact that something about them is unique almost exclusively to them. Perhaps your kid is an exceptionally remarkable artist at a very young age, or your kid is really freakishly smart when it comes to math. If so, your kid is probably quite special.

I know this is a slightly controversial subject - and I have the feeling that my attitude about this probably makes me sound like a monumental bitch. I don't mean to offend. I get that all parents think their kids are "special" but let's get as objective as we can for just a second here - and really think about what Dash says. If everyone is special, then no one is. It's absolutely true. The reason this resonates with me is that I still get the impression that we, as a society, are still perpetuating this idea that everyone is special and I think that in turn, is perpetuating this creepy sense of entitlement and this idea that mediocrity should be rewarded.

Another favorite exchange in the movie is as follows:

Helen: I can't believe you don't want to go to your own son's graduation.
Bob: It's not a graduation. He is moving from the 4th grade to the 5th grade.
Helen: It's a ceremony!
Bob: It's psychotic! They keep creating new ways to celebrate mediocrity, but if someone is genuinely exceptional...

If every child is constantly told that they're special, exceptional and/or great then they're going to wind up thinking that they can do no wrong - and that whatever they hope to be will simply be - and unfortunately, that just isn't the case.

That isn't to say one can't become special - in fact, with hard work and a lot of determination, I think most people can, but this business of classifying everything and everyone as special is completely inane.

If we do decide to kid - The Incredibles will be required watching.