Of Course!

So no less than 24 hours out from having posted that John and I have decided that we want children, do I receive a call from my OBGYN who tells me that everything is fine... except that my "ovarian reserve" appears to have been "somewhat depleted." Her advice? Stop waiting and start trying to get knocked up... NOW.

I get this call at work. I'm sitting at my desk and had just finished texting my girlfriend and the phone rang. Unknown number. Generally, I don't answer these, but something told me to pick up the phone - and I did - and for the next hour, I was in complete shock. I know I'm 35 and I'm getting into that precarious age range for having children... but I thought I could get away with waiting just a teeny tiny bit longer, because I JUST TURNED 35. Countless women I know have had babies at 36, 37, 38, 39... and most recently... forty-fucking-two! In any case, after I hung up the phone, I started to cry.

According to my doctor, it would be incredibly risky to wait at this point. In fact, even another month or so might seriously jeopardize my chances of getting pregnant based on a variety of tests. She wants us to try to get pregnant - and if I can't do so in the next couple of months, she's referring me to a fertility specialist... something I'm not entirely sure how I feel about just yet.

Bottom line? I am out of wait time. It's go time... NOW. I suppose this makes the title of my last post all the more appropriate... and real. No more kidding around folks. I've got to make the most of whatever eggs I've got left. Heading out to pick up a few ovulation kits today.

Fingers crossed. Legs uncrossed.

Lovely.

Fertility Advice From a Plastic Cup

So I had an interesting conversation with a friend of mine last week - who announced that he and his girlfriend were expecting. I was semi-astonished for a multitude of reasons, including the fact that I never really thought this person would become a dad - and additionally, the fact that both he and his girlfriend are over 40. That gave me hope... for a minute anyway. That being said, he wound-up scaring the living shit out of me. (THANKS FRIEND!) Why? Well, he reminded me that I am approaching the "precipice" of fertility. Which is to say that as of this Thursday, February 16th, when I turn 35, I will start the downward slide into potential infertility. In fact, I sort-of already have - and it only gets worse.

With every year that passes at this point moving forward, my chances of conceiving a child decrease exponentially. Woohoo! With that said however, today's post was written by said friend, who has provided us all with an interesting perspective on how male fertility can often be the culprit in the lack of conception - something that most doctors and fertility specialists overlook far too frequently:


For those of you who have decided “to kid,” here is some baby-making knowledge about fertility from a male who got his lady pregnant the hard way. (And by hard way I mean years of my life and nearly $100K of my savings.)

Things your gynecologist probably never told you:

Over 40% of fertility issues involve the male partner.
20% to 30% of fertility issues are exclusively with the male partner.

Most of you at this point are probably asking “What does this mean for me?” and “Really $100K?" Let’s address both questions simultaneously.

Like the Wedding Industry, the Fertility Industry is almost exclusively catered to the woman. Almost all doctors will try to fix infertility on the female side alone.

In our case, after trying to have a kid “naturally” for over a year, my partner’s Gyno recommended we spend $2,000 on IUI (insemination) without once suggesting that we test my sperm. After IUI failed, her next recommendation was that we go to a fertility doctor for IVF (in-Vitro Fertilization). Once again, she referred us to this method without ever considering that the problem may be on my side.

After failing at over $10,000 of IVF, this fertility doctor suggested we use donor sperm or that I might try a urologist.

Like many of you, I thought Urologists were “pee-doctors” but here’s the secret... while most urologists are pee-doctors, there is a specialty of Urology dedicated to Male Sexual Health. (Remember this phrase.)

Urologists specializing in Male Sexual Health are basically the male equivalent of Gynecologists. They can diagnose sperm in much greater detail and are expert at improving sexual health and overcoming male infertility.

After getting multiple referrals, I went to Dr. Scott Zeitlin who teaches at UCLA Med School who this Plastic Cup endorses wholeheartedly. After testing my sperm and hormones for about $300, he determined that my body’s testosterone was low and put me on one pill a day. Within a few months my sperm went from 'meh' to awesome and we got pregnant naturally.

Now, I would love to say that this was the happy ending I was looking for. But sadly, it ended up in miscarriage. But here’s another thing your gynecologist never told you:

Up to one third of all pregnancies end up in miscarriage.

But let’s not end on a sad note – my partner is now 6 months pregnant with a very healthy boy. (This happened as soon as we fired that first female-centric fertility doctor and went with a far better fertility doctor. But that’s advice that this Plastic Cup will have to share another time.)

Hey - BTW, speaking of my forthcoming time bomb of a birthday, here's what I'd like from you. In lieu of gifts, I would ADORE any donation you can make to the Pediatric Cancer Research Foundation. I am running a 1/2 marathon in May to raise critical funds for this cause. Any amount is appreciated! To those of you who have already donated, THANK YOU!!! (That includes the friend who penned this post and scared me half to death).

https://www.kintera.org/faf/donorReg/donorPledge.asp?ievent=492975&supId=347488959