Friends with Kids

Oh boy. What interesting timing.

When I first read the synopsis for this movie - I couldn't help but be pretty darn amused:

FRIENDS WITH KIDS is a daring and poignant ensemble comedy about a close-knit circle of friends at that moment in life when children arrive and everything changes. The last two singles in the group observe the effect that kids have had on their friends' relationships and wonder if there's a better way.

And there was an LA Times article this morning about Jennifer Westfeldt - the Producer, Director and Lead Actress in the movie - who is 42 years old and childless, (in real life that is). And here's the most intriguing snippet:

"Friends With Kids" grew out of Westfeldt's personal experience. She took note of the collateral damage parenthood can inflict on couples, the anger and frustration that can arise between the sleep-deprived spouses as they negotiate the division of responsibilities and the demands of a new baby.

Similarly, Westfeldt's unlucky-in-love Julie watches the marriages of her peers - husbands and wives played by Maya Rudolph and Chris O'Dowd and Kristen Wiig and Hamm - begin to disintegrate after they become parents, so she opts to have a baby with her best friend, Jason ("Parks and Recreation's" Adam Scott).

Anyway, I get the distinct impression that the movie will cover a lot of the topics I have already covered ad nauseam in this blog. Interestingly, I am fairly confident that I can see this movie without second guessing all of the aspects of opting to kid or not to kid, that John and I have already definitively come to a conclusion about.

I finished something!

For those who aren't aware, I have a tendency to dive into things head-first, and then give up mid-way into whatever that thing is. It's probably why I changed my major in college repeatedly and never really chose or committed to a full-blown career. I just kind-of wound up wherever the wind took me.

I was very concerned that this would be the case with the whole marathoning thing. I thought I'd hit the 6 - 8 mile mark in training and say, "To hell with this. It's too hard. Screw it."

I've done this with so many things in my life. Let's start with speech and debate. I won a first place trophy in my first debate competition. Right out of the gate. I was elated, because I won. But then I did another - a speech competition at Stanford, and I forgot my speech halfway through and had to refer to my little index cards. The judge informed me that had I not forgotten my speech, I would've gotten first place. Well, I never debated again. HOW LAME IS THAT? And sorry mom and dad, but why didn't you notice that I simply quit things when I wasn't phenomenal at them right out of the gate? Where was the encouragement to continue?

Anyway, my husband will tell you that I am a sore loser. It's something I've been working on. I don't like failing... at anything - and I sure as hell don't like losing. This is one of many reasons why I simply don't see things through.

Well, much to my own surprise, I didn't quit training - and on Sunday, I finished my first 1/2 marathon. (13.1 miles). Needless to say, I'm feeling quite proud of myself - and this is a very good thing. For the first time in a long time, I set a goal, and saw it through - and it feels pretty effing amazing. So, I'm setting more goals. (both running and non-running goals), that I plan on seeing through no matter what.

To keep me on top of the marathoning thing however, I've added a little training widget to this blog, where I'll be logging the miles I run per week. So, in addition to the new goals, I have to keep up with the marathoning business too. I'm gonna be a busy gal.

What's this got to do with having children you ask? Well, a lot. I want to instill a sense of accomplishment in any child we may have (a sense of accomplishment earned through hard work and determination) - and one leads by example, right?

Just found out that I can choose my baby's gender.

Wish it were a good thing though - which sadly, it isn't.

As anyone still reading this blog knows, John and I are pretty certain that if we opt to kid, we'll likely adopt for a wide variety of reasons - including really wanting a girl - which is why this article today was both compelling and disturbing:

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/44079287/ns/health-pregnancy/

And in case you're wondering... no - I would not do this. Come on people. I'm not that insane.

Elf Ears, Push Up Bikinis for Babies and Facebook Depression

This morning, I saw the piece on the news about how Abercrombie & Fitch may have crossed the line with their new push up bikinis for 7 year-olds. May have???

Then, I saw this post: http://www.momlogic.com/2010/09/teen_trend_elf_ears.php, (which I was relieved to see was actually from late 2010, so maybe this "trend" isn't that real after all and we can chalk this up to a small handful of silly wannabe elfin kids with way-too-lenient-parents).

And then I saw this: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/42298789/ns/health-mental_health/

It's bad enough that plenty of adults are out there assuming that all of their Facebook "friends" are living picture-perfect, idyllic, Utopian lives - but it's far worse that kids are suffering from depression thanks to an online popularity contest on top of the one they have to contend with at school every day. Makes me want to tell every parent to allow their kids to watch the episode of South Park I've posted below, so they can develop a very clear understanding, very early on, of how silly Facebook ultimately is.

In short, Kyle "friends" the wrong person on Facebook, and all of his friends abandon him as a result. When he becomes desperate for just one person to friend him, he turns to Stan. But when Stan tries to help, his Facebook account goes rogue, and he finds himself in the digital realm forced to battle his own profile.

http://www.southparkstudios.com/full-episodes/s14e04-you-have-0-friends

Here's a snippet:



Anyway, my point is that the concept of having kids is getting scarier and scarier, if only for the fact that they are being exposed to WAY too much at WAY too young an age... and I know that every generation says this about the next - but seriously folks... push up bikinis for 7 year-olds? I think we've hit a new low.

If I Kid...

Don't ask how I found this, but if I had a little girl, I would totally want her to have a treehouse bed like this one. TOO CUTE FOR WORDS! This is a DIY I believe - and you can find out for yourself here: www.theslowlifenc.blogspot.com

The Worst Job I've Ever Had In My Life

Not long ago, I was working for a company that I am going to refrain from calling out by its actual name, but for the sake of this blog, let's call it "Ass Salon." It was fairly embarrassing to be working for a company of a similar name that I couldn't even share with my Grandma, but at first, the opportunity was not only attractive, it appeared to be a dream job with tons of potential. My bosses seemed to be nice, young, cool individuals who appreciated talent. (I went through five interviews and quite a few tests just to get hired).

Sadly, I couldn't have been more mistaken about the role.

Unfortunately, these people were wolves in sheep's clothing. After the requisite "honeymoon" phase, everything changed. Despite the fact that I was working around the clock, (the red flashing light on the Blackberry a constant reminder that I was on call 24/7), I inevitably wound up being underpaid, under-appreciated, manipulated and lied to on a fairly regular basis.

I was warned by fellow colleagues, but I chose to believe otherwise. I figured that with hard work and determination, I could turn it all around. I would rise to the challenge! I would negate the crappy office environment with a healthy dose of positivity and good cheer! I went so far as to attend a lecture by a "Gen Y Self-Help Guru" (who happened to be a burnt-out publicist herself), at the request of my former boss, who also attended. This was shortly after I had requested a well-deserved raise which I didn't receive. Call it kismet, but at this very lecture, the topic of which was "Knowing Your Worth," my boss leaned over and asked me if I hated her, (after a few nervous giggles).

A month or so later, I was taking 1/4 of a Xanax every morning to prevent the heart palpitations I was having at my desk on a daily basis. I had also started packing on the pounds. After spending nearly a year dropping 40 lbs., I managed to heap 20 back on. Rather than being a thin confident publicist, I became an overweight, overstressed, neurotic freak who could barely keep her head above water.

Operations at the Ass Salon company were a total joke. They had hired a team of talented people and wouldn't let anyone actually do their jobs! A meeting spawned a meeting, that spawned a meeting, that spawned a plan, that spawned a meeting, that spawned another plan, that spawned a few more meetings, and so-on-and-so-forth. It was no wonder that I was literally losing my mind. It was also telling that I had discovered they had gone through 5 or so design firms and 5 or so PR agencies, among other roles in as many years as they had been in business. Clearly nobody was up to snuff.

As a publicist, I am supposed to maintain a certain code of ethics... and refrain from badmouthing clients or colleagues, but for months now, I have needed to get this off of my chest. The bottom line is that I have never, ever been treated as poorly as I was during this time. I've had my fair share of less-than-sensational bosses, but this situation truly resided in a league of its own.

The egomaniacal husband-and-wife team of trolls at Ass Salon literally sucked the life out of me, (along with many others who I grew to respect). After promises that "the hard work would pay off," and frequent reminders that I, "...had a home there," I was essentially laid off. The best part? Those jerkoffs didn't even let me take home my personal belongings, or acquire the massive contact database I'd spent the better part of a year forming relationships with. I was treated like a common criminal, despite the fact that I had kicked serious ass, (no pun intended), in my role there. They determined what they deemed to be my personal belongings and brought them to me in boxes at a local Starbucks. I wasn't even permitted to say goodbye to my coworkers. It was as if I was working for Apple or Cisco, but certainly not the Ass Salon.

I spent a long time second-guessing myself, but came to terms with the fact that I was working for lunatics who were desperately grasping at straws to save their own hides.

Fortunately, I wasn't around for their annual convention of sales reps peddling sex toys clad in all white. That must've been something.

You're probably wondering what on earth this has to do with having children?

Well, one of my then-bosses was evidently pregnant nearly the entire time I was there. Let me just say, I am thrilled that I will not go through that bullshit nine month phase where I blame all of my bitchiness, mood swings and generally shitty attitude on pregnancy and assume I can get away with it.

So, yay me!!! I win! Oh, and I have a kick-ass new gig as well.

(Enjoy the picture of the insanely pregnant Octomom, courtesty of TMZ)

Friends with Kids

A friend of mine, Glenn Rosenthal, sent me the attached article, which I thought was pretty intriguing given that I'd been wondering the same thing the article covers myself... Why don't my friends with kids seem to have almost any time? And then I read this - and discovered that perhaps my view of just how much time my friends with kids have, (particularly those who are stay-at-home moms), might be a bit stilted. Nevertheless, I still find myself wondering why I rarely, (if ever), hear from the vast majority of my friends with kids anymore.

I understand that having a child means undivided attention, errands and simple tasks taking far more time than they used to, getting up in the middle of the night...repeatedly, and basically dealing with a never-ending barrage of motherly (or fatherly) duties, but when I've gone months and months on end without hearing from someone, (who I've emailed, called, Facebooked, etc.), I can't help but wonder... are they really that slammed, and if so, why? I have a tough time believing that chores and kid duties would literally take up every second of my day if I weren't working, but clearly, I'm missing something, which is yet another reason I have to think that if John and I do have kids, one of us won't be working... 'cause I don't think I'm down with the nanny thing... but that's just me.

I also can't help but relate to the author of the letter the editor addresses in this piece. I just started a new full time job and can hardly keep up with errands, household chores and our puppies, let alone this blog, so for all of you working moms out there, I give you SERIOUS credit. Crazy amounts of serious, sincere credit.