I have a feeling that I'm going to take a lot of heat for this post... but I can't resist.
Justin Bieber is the perfect example of what I fear should John and I choose to have children. We will almost undoubtedly be subjected to music such as his, and it just might push me over the edge.
Let's start with his lyrics:
Baby
oh woahh, oh woahh, oh woahhh
You know you love me
I know you care
And I would never, not be there
You are my love
You are my heart
And we would never, ever, ever be apart
Are we an item?
Girl quit playin'
We're just friends,
What are you sayin'
Take another look right in my eyes
My first love, broke my heart for the first time
And now I'm like
Baby, baby, baby noo
I'm like
Baby, baby, baby noo
I'm like
Baby, baby, baby noo
I thought you'd always be mine (mine)
Baby, baby, baby noo
I'm like
Baby, baby, baby noo
I'm like
Baby, baby, baby noo
I thought you'd always be mine
For you, I would have done whatever
and no i can't believe we're not together
And I'm gonn' play it cool
While I'm losin you
I'll buy you anything
I'll buy you any ring
Cause I'm in pieces
so come fix me
shake me til' you can wake me from this bad dream*
I'm goin down, down, dooown
*everybody!*
Baby, baby, baby noo
I'm like
Baby, baby, baby noo
I'm like
Baby, baby, baby noo
I thought you'd always be mine (mine)
Baby, baby, baby noo
I'm like
Baby, baby, baby noo
I'm like
Baby, baby, baby ohh
I thought you'd always be mine
You can give me all of your love
just this time it wont be enough
Nobody told me this day would come
Now I'm all gone
You can give me all of your love
just this time it wont be enough
Nobody told me this day would come
I wa- I was like
Baby, baby, baby noo
I'm like
Baby, baby, baby noo
I'm like
Baby, baby, baby noo
I thought you'd always be mine (mine)
Yeahh, yeah, yeah
Yeahh, yeah, yeah
Yeahh, yeah, yeah
Yeahh, yeah, yeah
Yeahh, yeah, yeah
Now I'm all gone, gone, gone, gone
Genius!
The tunes themselves and the mere sound of his voice are like nails on a chalkboard to me so the lyrics just add insult to injury.
Next, let's tackle that hair. I know this is going to make me sound like an old fogy, but seriously. Come on. That hair is utterly and completely absurd. (Yes, yes, I know - we've seen flat tops and mullets and I didn't endorse them either), but dare I say this is worse? How much time is that kid spending on his hair on a daily basis? I can assure you it's far more than I spend on mine. Metrosexual is one thing - crossing the line into higher maintenance than myself, or any other girly-girl I know is another. If John and I had tween or teen girls right about now, there'd be no escaping Bieber Fever. Speaking of which, that is mediocre rhyme at best.
Bottom line is, I can't take it. I just can't. Perhaps this is a rather silly reason not to have children... but I believe it is one to consider, at the very least.
