I have a feeling that I'm going to take a lot of heat for this post... but I can't resist.
Justin Bieber is the perfect example of what I fear should John and I choose to have children. We will almost undoubtedly be subjected to music such as his, and it just might push me over the edge.
Let's start with his lyrics:
Baby
oh woahh, oh woahh, oh woahhh
You know you love me
I know you care
And I would never, not be there
You are my love
You are my heart
And we would never, ever, ever be apart
Are we an item?
Girl quit playin'
We're just friends,
What are you sayin'
Take another look right in my eyes
My first love, broke my heart for the first time
And now I'm like
Baby, baby, baby noo
I'm like
Baby, baby, baby noo
I'm like
Baby, baby, baby noo
I thought you'd always be mine (mine)
Baby, baby, baby noo
I'm like
Baby, baby, baby noo
I'm like
Baby, baby, baby noo
I thought you'd always be mine
For you, I would have done whatever
and no i can't believe we're not together
And I'm gonn' play it cool
While I'm losin you
I'll buy you anything
I'll buy you any ring
Cause I'm in pieces
so come fix me
shake me til' you can wake me from this bad dream*
I'm goin down, down, dooown
*everybody!*
Baby, baby, baby noo
I'm like
Baby, baby, baby noo
I'm like
Baby, baby, baby noo
I thought you'd always be mine (mine)
Baby, baby, baby noo
I'm like
Baby, baby, baby noo
I'm like
Baby, baby, baby ohh
I thought you'd always be mine
You can give me all of your love
just this time it wont be enough
Nobody told me this day would come
Now I'm all gone
You can give me all of your love
just this time it wont be enough
Nobody told me this day would come
I wa- I was like
Baby, baby, baby noo
I'm like
Baby, baby, baby noo
I'm like
Baby, baby, baby noo
I thought you'd always be mine (mine)
Yeahh, yeah, yeah
Yeahh, yeah, yeah
Yeahh, yeah, yeah
Yeahh, yeah, yeah
Yeahh, yeah, yeah
Now I'm all gone, gone, gone, gone
Genius!
The tunes themselves and the mere sound of his voice are like nails on a chalkboard to me so the lyrics just add insult to injury.
Next, let's tackle that hair. I know this is going to make me sound like an old fogy, but seriously. Come on. That hair is utterly and completely absurd. (Yes, yes, I know - we've seen flat tops and mullets and I didn't endorse them either), but dare I say this is worse? How much time is that kid spending on his hair on a daily basis? I can assure you it's far more than I spend on mine. Metrosexual is one thing - crossing the line into higher maintenance than myself, or any other girly-girl I know is another. If John and I had tween or teen girls right about now, there'd be no escaping Bieber Fever. Speaking of which, that is mediocre rhyme at best.
Bottom line is, I can't take it. I just can't. Perhaps this is a rather silly reason not to have children... but I believe it is one to consider, at the very least.
Meh. It's not a good enough reason. Try harder :).
ReplyDeleteI just don't allow it. Problem solved. There's no Justin, no Jonai, no Miley/Hannah. I also don't let them watch that junk on the Disney Channel or Nick Jr, like Suite Life... awful. I noticed that when they watch this stuff... they start emulating it. And I have big issues with kids who like to act like adults are their peers. I am not your peer. Sit down and wait til I want to hear from you (I kid, a little. I'm not *that* drastic).
So... hence one reason why we live without cable :)
I can't wait for John to get home to he can insert his own comments about the Suite Life et al... Fun. Love your comments as always.
ReplyDeleteJustin's annoying. But I was in love with Shawn Cassidy, used to kiss his poster and everything. I'm glad my parents didn't have a blog!
ReplyDeleteThat hair seriously makes me want to scream. Maybe I need meds...
ReplyDeleteThe fact of the matter is, in my humble opinion, when you sign up to have kids, you're basically signing up to deal with whatever annoying crap your kids are into.
ReplyDeleteI'm sure we would all love to fantasize that our children exit the womb as supercool bohemians who are above the mainstream and smarter (or better at sports, etc.) than everyone else's kids. But until genetic engineering allows us to dictate 'taste' we're kinda stuck with what we've got.
I have no doubt that my parents weren't thrilled that I would lip-sync to 'Journey' - but they never halted it either.
Kids are gonna like what they're gonna like, and most of the time the parents are gonna hate it. But any time I've seen a parent try to stifle a child's desires it makes the kid all the more determined to embrace it.
Bieber is cloying and annoying - of this there can be no doubt (15 'yeah's in a row)... but I think he's harmless (so far) and by this time next month there will be some new barely-formed-fetus-with-ugly-hair making little girls scream (see how the 'fetus' comment brought it full circle? man I'm good).
As long as they're not singing songs about how to join Al Quida I'm fine with it.
Now pardon me while I go listen to my Phil Collins CD.