"There's our Daughter"

John sent me this today.
Moments later he said, "There's our daughter."

And I was really thrilled to read that because it's really cute to hear him say things like that... but then I was just kinda sad.

As of late, we've clearly been leaning more towards kidding than not, but circumstances continue to preclude us from doing so. Although we're still not ready, or 100% certain, adopting or having a child requires time and money... and right now, we don't have much of either. We're both working our asses off and paying down our debt, (as I've said repeatedly, so I apologize). Nevertheless, everyday I am bombarded with horrific stories and stats about the forthcoming double-dip recession or housing bust... or some other imminent financial disaster that's gonna take us from bad to worse... or something like the contents of a PR plan a colleague of mine just put together for a new client, which included the following:

2) GENERATION X: DOUBLE WHAMMY-ED

Covering the 46 million American born between 1965 to 1982, their employment history has been characterized by two financial tsunamis. Hit by the Dotcom Bust of 1999, a scant 10 years later, just as they were feeling confident and planning for the future – wham! – the Great Recession knocks ‘em down again.


And right now, I'm ticked off with myself for even writing this. I sound like a totally depressed, glass half-empty, negative Nellie... and I don't want to be. So, I'm gonna go ahead and shut up now... watch this adorable commercial with this adorable little girl and her adorable teddy bear collection, (I had a massive one), and hope that things start to look a lot brighter sooner rather than later.

And why, for the love of God... can't we make commercials this cool in the US, (where they don't abuse CGI and don't tart the little girl up as my husband duly noted???)

And nobody told me...

... that reading my friend Jenny's blog posts would make me want to kid.

http://andnobodytoldme.com/2011/08/that-my-kid-would-know-me-so-well/

You can read more of Jenny's parenting insights and brilliance at www.karmacontinued.com.

"I get the sense that you guys really shouldn't do the kid thing."

So I received my first email a few days ago regarding having children- and the advice given was essentially not to do so, predominantly because, (based on the blog), that John and I have so much doubt.

For some reason, I had a pretty strong reaction to this. A significant part of me was incredibly offended - and I know I was probably overreacting and getting far too bent-out-of-shape about it, but it definitely struck a chord.

I couldn't help but wonder...

What have I written that has been so inflammatory, so off-putting that someone would essentially tell me not to do it? Mind you, the person who wrote the email is pregnant herself.

I can't help but wonder if there are more people reading this blog that think I should refrain from having children. I know I have a few friends who raised an eyebrow when they even heard me mention the prospect of having kids, but nobody else, (yet), has literally advised us not to do it.

I guess I can't blame anyone for having that reaction, and yet I'm really, truly incensed by it. Part of me thinks I'd have the same reaction reading my own blog, (from an outsider's perspective), but I'm not an outsider... I'm in this - and I am seriously debating about whether or not my hubby and I should have kids, as is he.

What's wrong with a little doubt, regardless of the outcome? At least I'm actually taking the time to THINK about what is a huge decision. I mean, how many millions of people get knocked up because of sheer ignorance or irresponsibility, or have more kids than they should because they're looking to set a world record or get a reality show? Or those that bring a few more lives into the world because they think they're supposed to, despite excessive overpopulation and countless orphans nationwide that would give anything for a great home?

I've only been writing about it for a little over a month. Is that too much time to devote to the debate about whether or not to have children? Somehow, I don't think so. Of course I have doubts. Who doesn't have some?

I know that whatever decision we make, ultimately, it will be the right one for us. I feel it's a bit premature on anyone's part to say do it or don't do it either way - but of course it's the don't do its that are getting under my skin...

While I spend way too much obsessing about that, I'd like to bring up the ridiculously adorable experience we had last night while bowling. Our friends Elk and Jeff and their pal Vinnie joined us for a few games - and right next to us were two women and the most adorable little girl. She could barely lift her bowling ball, (which was freakishly cute in and of itself), but this little girl just exuded joy. I mean, it was literally pouring out of her. Every time she'd send her ball down the lane and see a few pins go down, she would dance in the happiest, most blissful manner... and neither John nor I could stop watching. I even asked her mom if I could take a picture, (and she said yes), but unfortunately, I was using my Blackberry with no flash during blacklit bowling. Needless to say it didn't work, but I found the perfect photo to accompany this post thanks to Google Images, and this bowler's website: http://www.timwylie.com/bowling.html


I think it almost goes without saying that last night certainly pushed us in the to kid direction, but we're not 100% sold yet.