"You Just Make It All Work." REALLY???

In the latest trailer for Moneyball - an adorable little girl, at her father's request, sings Lenka's "The Show," (a song I completely adore), in the middle of a store while playing guitar. She's got no inhibitions, boatloads of confidence, and she's just utterly, freakishly adorable. I want her.

That being said, I'm wondering how much longer I can keep up this blog. Maybe I'm just feeling a little less than inspired at the moment - but I'm also starting to feel as if I'm getting fairly redundant. In fact, I'm fairly certain that I am, and I think that we all kinda know I'm leaning more towards kidding than not - as is John. The unfortunate part is that neither John nor I feel comfortable diving in just yet.

We are constantly being told that we're being completely lame for holding off. That you're "never fully ready" and that "you just make everything work" and the best one... my absolute fave is - "you're not getting any younger."

I'm not surprised that "you're never fully ready." I've accepted that. Fine. Done. Moving right along.

I'm not getting any younger. This too is 100% absolutely correct - but there's not much to be done about it. I'll be 35 in February. Not old per se - but at that precarious point where if you plan on having your own children, (which we're definitely now considering because adoption is probably going to be too cost-prohibitive for us for far too long), people start passing all kinds of judgments - and they're oh-so-helpful.

As for "just making everything work" - well... this is where I call BULLSHIT!

If everyone could just "make everything work," then people wouldn't be homeless. People wouldn't be starving. I always love when these words come from the mouths of people who've never lost nearly everything they've worked for... Never been out of work for lengthy periods of time.... Never really wondered if they'd be able to pay their electricity bills... Never spent a Christmas in a cold, uninsulated house surrounded by boxes that were not courtesy of Santa Claus.

Look, I really want to believe that you can just make everything work - but our own history tells us that's simply not true. You can't just snap your fingers and transform your life from one thing into another if you don't have the means to do so or if circumstances simply aren't permitting. Money doesn't grow on trees - and kids cost a lot of money - and money is just something we don't have much of. We're still digging ourselves out of the financial disaster that we were completely blindsided by. This is our reality. Fortunately, the good news is that we've made a TON of progress. Our lives have improved dramatically... in ways we couldn't have even imagined - and we're happier now than we were in the house - which is a very welcome surprise. So while everything eventually seems to work out - you can't just make everything work precisely when you want to and how you want to.

Anyway, I've now got this massive case of baby-on-the-brain - and there's not a hell of a lot I can do about it. In the meantime, I get to hear everyone and their mother tell me that I'm running out of time - that if I'm going to do this, I better do it now - and that money, of all things, shouldn't hold me back.

I'm just not drinking that Kool-Aid.

That being said, I don't want this blog to turn into a depressing missive about how we're pretty sure that we want kids - but simply can't afford them. Who the hell wants to read about that?

So, I'm debating about carrying this whole To Kid or Not to Kid blog on much longer. And then I realize I've started a debate about the debate which is another debate in and of itself... or something.

I need a vacation, or a new blog topic, or a shrink...

...or all of the above.