http://parenting.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/02/06/who-says-american-parents-are-inferior/#more-32151
Look, I am well-aware that I am one feisty opinionated gal. I am sure that if I ever do become a parent, I will have very strong opinions about how I want to parent. That being said, I think one of the things that will drive me absolutely bonkers is being told by another mother that what I'm doing is 100% wrong - and what she's doing is 100% right.
Are there really absolutes when it comes to parenting? Aren't all children different? Parents too? There can't possibly be one perfect way to parent. I've said it before and I'll say it again - I think a pragmatic approach... what works for YOU, is probably best.
Why am I ranting about this? Well, if you aren't already aware, yet another mother, Pamela Druckerman, has written about a book about how to parent - in this case, a book extolling the perfect parenting practices of the French, (in contrast to the pathetic parenting practices of Americans).
I am not even a mother and I still feel as if nary a day passes where I don't hear about some mother telling another mother how differently she should be doing things, or insulting another mother for doing something different from the norm - and so-on-and-so-forth... ad nauseum. It's insane.
Why are so many mothers so unbelievably judgy? I was just on the phone with my girlfriend Jen, who was at a party not too long ago when she was expecting her second baby girl. A woman at that soiree waltzed up to Jen and asked her what her birth plans were. Jen informed her that she was having a hospital birth. The woman's response? To literally turn her back on Jen and walk away.
ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?! What kind of a person does that? And since when as a hospital birth become something to criticize?!?
Anyway, this holier-than-thou business is obnoxious to the nth degree.
What I do know, is that if we 'kid' I sure as hell don't want anyone telling me how I should be doing things - or how badly I'm screwing my children up in some way, shape or form. And because of that, I am going to do my best to refrain from judging any other mothers in a harsh manner, unless they are literally doing something that is potentially very harmful to their child, (e.g. abuse).
I've heard that many strangers have little hesitation in walking up and touching a pregnant woman's belly. Moms-to-be gotta be strong and with the physical and mental armor, eh? Youzer.
ReplyDelete" What kind of a person does that? " = A very, very rude one.
ReplyDelete... also, when people who don't have children talk about how their own kid is going to be taught to behave better than someone else's kid. But once they actually do have their own child, they will inevitably discover that all children have their own individual personalities and that some children are more difficult to deal with than others.
ReplyDeleteYeah - that whole waltzing up to a woman and touching her belly thing is totally freaky.
ReplyDeleteAnd yes - non-parents who swear their child will be flawless when they become parents probably have another thing coming.