This to kid or not to kid debate is overwhelming enough for so many reasons... but then there's the whole debate about whether or not to have more than one child if you do opt to kid!
As a sibling, (I have an older brother), I was previously inclined to say that two is a good idea. Today not so much - mostly due to the rather excessive costs of raising a child. Who has enough money?
Anyway I'm still on the fence. My brother is 4 1/2 years older than I, so we weren't exactly pals until we were much older and yet, I was always happy he was around. He introduced me to horror movies at a young age, (which I think played a rather significant role in my overall tastes/psyche), tortured me the way only an older brother can, (including trying to force me to eat a doggy biscuit and tickling me until I'd pee), and getting in just enough trouble on a regular enough basis that my parents were way too preocuppied with him to delve too deeply into what I was up to... which enabled me to get into my own version of trouble off of their radar once I was well into my teens.
Today, we get along pretty darn well, which is nice. I'm still glad he's around.
That said, if John and I have kids, can we get away with just having one? Are kids like tattoos, where if you get one you want more?
I think it's interesting that as I started writing this, I also did a google image search for "only child" (hoping to find something visual to steal to pair with this piece), and came across this:
http://www.time.com/time/nation/article/0,8599,2002382,00.html
I could go on and on about the comments/ideas in this piece which mostly revolve around debunking the myth of the only child being any one number of terrible things... but this is a blog and I've got to keep it in check... so let me just say this:
It is absurd that people are still ostracized for not having kids - and equally as absurd that people who choose to have only one are constantly harangued by countless other people to have more.
I just added you to my reader when I saw this post pop up...
ReplyDeleteFirst, I made the decision to pup (I like dogs more than goats ;-) ), and I don't regret it at all. I also think it's absurd to harass people who want to live childless or people who want only one child. I hate it that people do that. There are many reasons for both choices, as many reasons as there are to have 2, 4, or 10 kids. It bugs me that people can't just behave.
I love the title of this post. To me, kids are like tattoos. But I also only have 3 tattoos and don't plan to get any more. My husband has 7. Let's hope he gets over it, at least on the kid angle. We've planned the entire time to have 2 or 3 children, but are now seriously considering just one. It's not what we want, but we also don't want to not be able to provide for the one we have.
We are not having another until our finances improve and who knows when that will be. We also don't want siblings to be too far apart - my youngest sister is 12 years younger than me, and I love her to bits, but she grew up much as an only child because the rest of us (including a brother a year and a half older than me) were out of the house.
Who doesn't have a playdate these days? That takes the selfish problems right off the board most times. And the lonely myth! I can see so many sides of this issue my head is starting to hurt :-)
Just wanted to say I love your blog!
You are such a great writer Leigh and have such a great common sense take on this issue. If only more people were as thoughtful before they populated.
ReplyDeleteYou shouldn't worry about what other people think about how many kids you may or may not have, because people who would judge you on that are big poopy heads.
ReplyDeleteHey Joanna - Thanks for contributing! Glad we met via ProfNet, as I'm enjoying your take on all things kids too! What does adding me to your reader mean? I'm still a novice at this stuff! Would love to stay in touch and would love to have you contribute to the blog if you're interested. I'm always searching for compelling material - especially people who are forthcoming about reality - and don't pretend to be super moms!
ReplyDeleteVictoria - Can't thank you enough for the compliment. Now if only I could do something with the writing skills other than this blog that could actually become lucrative and enable me to donate to your worthy cause! I'm always thinking about it, even though I'm not always in touch.
And Anne - I always love your comments. Thanks! So sorry we missed you in L.A. Guess we'll just have to find a way to make it out to you!