One of my new favorite people, (fellow Boston Terrier parent, fellow blogger, and all-around cool chick), agreed to guest post on my blog. YAY!!!
Here is a bit of Simone DeBlasio's unique brand of genius:
I kid you not…
When Leigh Hope Fountain (best name in town) asked me to write a post for her blog, at first I thought, “Is she serious? Doesn’t she know I was banned from babysitting in my neighborhood because I caught the McDurmott’s driveway on fire during a shift?”
LHF couldn’t possibly know this bit of history because she only knows me as a Boston Terrier mom. And this I do quite well. I’ve never been a fan of kids. It’s all about them. They’re so needy and greedy, always whining for attention or food. Plus their hands are always filthy. The only gifts they offer are sickness, stress and exhaustion. Sure they might give you love, but it’s only when they want something. Then they grow into teenagers who talk back and hate you for no reason at all. Kids are the quintessential reason for birth control.
Should Leigh and John bring a child into their home?
Last week a co-worker brought her 5-year old daughter, Lola, into work. When I was young I loved visiting my dad’s office, pressing buttons on the phones and scribbling fake messages on pink pads, then leaving with a bunch of stolen office supplies. Lola, who was sprawled out on the floor next to the president’s office in tears, clearly wasn’t having the utopian experience I was familiar with. Her mother was about to blow a gasket, and for some bizarre reason (probably my unconscious people-pleasing tendencies), I asked the wee one if she wanted to visit my dog at my desk.
“YES!”
Kids will do anything to avoid homework.
Her mom asked if I would review Lola’s headshots while we we’re hanging out. Only in LA do 5-years olds have gorgeous headshots, agents and auditions under their tiny belts. Since I’ll do anything to avoid work, I reviewed the headshots while Lola played with my dog.
“Can I help pick out shots?” Lola tapped my arm.
“Um, sure. You, uh, wanna sit on my lap?” I asked with a slight level of discomfort, secretly hoping she’d say no.
“Yes!” She scooted her little body up onto my lap and we looked over 19 pages of photos. For the record, there was not a bad one in the bunch.
What blew my mind was how this miniature person had no qualms about picking out her favorites, and that she could use the computer better than me. The more we looked over those photos I began to feel an overwhelming sense of joy and hope. This beautiful child perched on my lap in the middle of my workday was teaching me something very important. Not only could kids bring in extra income if they’re good looking, but they force you to remain in the present moment. Nothing else mattered except sitting with Lola and looking over her headshots. It was a glorious moment of clarity.
So… should Leigh and John bring a child into their home?
Only they know the answer to that lofty question. I do believe most of us are capable of being good parents, as long as we’re willing to become selfless, and change everything we think we know about life.
Yeah, I’m still sticking with Boston Terriers.
For more of my mouth, visit my blog: http://simone-says.com
And you should visit her blog. Simone is funny as hell and shares many of my grievances in life.
I'm sticking with cats and husbands.
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed this post, but want to offer one different thought: it's not so much that we're WILLING to become selfless and change everything we think we know about life because plenty of people become parents without that willingness. It's that when you become a parent, and are open and honest about the troubles and the fears that accompany it, you become selfless and the world simply becomes different. And while she may become a crazed-eyed teenager, my daughter calling me to her room to simply say I love you Mom will help me get through.
ReplyDeletePolyandry is an interesting option!
ReplyDelete@Anonymous - I totally agree. When my nieces and nephews just say my name, I melt. But when they hug me and tell me they love me - wow. The magic of child's love is inexplicable, and words cannot fully justify the blessings we receive in that love. Thus, my ramblings are a bit sardonic. Honestly, I love kids. Just as long as they aren't mine. And as long as they have good parents, like yourself, who educate them and raise them well. Thanks for reading and commenting! Simone
ReplyDeleteI love this post.
ReplyDeleteI used to feel exactly like you when it came to kids. And when I divorced my husband, I realized, HE was the reason I didn't want kids. Procreating/ child rearing with him was secretly making my brain go into seizure mode. (NOT saying that's what going on with you, I'm just sharing my experiences.)
Now that I'm with someone I really care about, and I can see what a great dad he already is, it's a completely different story.
Maybe one day...