http://www.livescience.com/7009-kids-depressing-study-parents-finds.html
You know, just when I think I'm inching closer to a decision to have kids, (someday), something like this comes along that once again, stops me dead in my tracks. (Funny how things work like that isn't it)?
Anyway, this article basically states that parents have more to worry about and have significantly higher levels of depression than their childless peers.
I particularly love the last sentence of this piece, "People should really think about whether they want to do this or not."
Well I am... and it's NOT helping!
Needless to say however, this whole concept of having kids and being depressed, more worrisome, etc. than I already am is NOT attractive.
Yikes.
Leigh -
ReplyDeleteI stumbled across your blog and find it interesting.
My husband and I are happily childfree (much better word than childless, imo). We made the decision we when started dating 5+ years ago.
I am concerned that you and your husband did not reach an agreement before you married. It seems now is a little late to be weighing this huge life decision. Unless you expect John will agree with whatever you decide either way.
I had a friend who said, "what if he (my husband) changes his mind and wants children". So we have discussed this issue at length (or more than necessary in his opinion).
Children are a lot of work - time, emotion, financially. And I don't want additional strain on our relationship.
I live in the SF Bay Area and know about expensive.
My husband's sister thinks we are crazy to not have children. Unfortunately, she and her husband need food stamps to feed their 4 offspring and don't seem to have time to help all with their homework.
Don't let the pressure of mothers get to you. They speak of the unconditional love, but not of the difficulties. 18 years is a long time!!!
Hey Anonymous -
ReplyDeleteWe did reach an agreement prior to getting married - and the agreement was that neither of us knew whether or not we wanted kids - but that he would happily go along with my decision regardless of what it was. Reason being, he never thought he wanted kids, until he met me. I take that as a HUGE compliment - and it is one of the many, many reasons I married him.
I totally agree with you in terms of children being a lot of work, expensive, etc. and certainly, to some extent, a strain on any relationship, which is one of the many reasons I am still so undecided.
I am definitely NOT letting the pressures of motherhood get to me, so don't worry, but I sincerely appreciate your concern. I am truly and totally very much on the fence about this still - and likely will be for a while yet.
I have addressed your concerns in previous posts, but I don't expect anyone new to this to go back and read everything I've written to date, so just be rest assured that I've covered those based already.
Also, 18 years?!? That's if your LUCKY!
Congrats to you for making a decision you are clearly happy with. I imagine I will get to the same place sooner or later!
Thanks for reading! Hope you stumble upon this blog again sometime.