Amanda Marcotte penned this article for Slate - http://www.slate.com/id/2259822/
and it addresses what is evidently becoming increasingly common. More women are simply choosing to forgo having children.
Amanda, 32, (one year my junior), is evidently experiencing precisely what I am... that every other woman I know is pregnant or planning to be. So where are these women who've opted not to kid? They must be out there... because the Pew Research Center study demonstrates that the number of women who aren't going to have children has nearly doubled since 1976. 18% of the female population just isn't going to procreate. That's nearly 1 in 5 women.
To me, this is astonishing. Nearly every woman I know is planning to have children.
What might be more compelling however, is the fact that 38% of Americans denounce childlessness as, "bad for society." WHAT?!? How is this bad for society? With so many people having oodles of children - popping out babies like popcorn, aren't those people compensating for the ones who aren't having any?
What am I missing here?
Even if there weren't countless people having far too many kids, (many of whom can't even afford them), there are people who believe that this trend may bring about the end of Western civilization.
Somehow, I don't think that's gonna happen.
I do believe that more and more women, (including myself), are taking the time to explore the option, rather than diving right in. With study after study indicating that children decrease the quality of marriage, and many mothers admitting that it isn't quite what they thought it would be, I'm not really that surprised that more women are becoming "childless by choice."
I've touched on this before, but I think it's an interesting phenomenon that women who choose to kid and women who choose not to kid are so polarized. Each camp likes to put themselves on pedestals and insist that their decision was better than the other camp's. It's fairly absurd.
In any case, having a child is a HUGE decision, and I admire those who choose one way or the other, doing what is ultimately best for them without letting societal norms and the influence of others impact their decisions.
You want kids? Great! Don't want kids? Fantastic! Me... still fairly undecided, but attracted to the idea..
I am one of those pro-creators, but am often confused why one camp thinks their way is better. There are those who like to theorize about the destruction of the world or civilization by over-populating, and then there are those who say that those who refrain from pro-creating are doing an injustice to the world because they are generally an intelligent crowd and need their offspring to compensate for the crazies who continue to have crazy, ignorant children.
ReplyDeleteI say...what's best for you is what's best. Period. I have three children and am 32. My best girlfriend has none and is 32. It is very likely she won't have any.
My personal belief? Having children only changes your current lifestyle and relationships as much as you allow them to. The one steadfast rule I made when we were pregnant with my first (his second) was this: We have this baby and fit him into our life, our daily life, our lifestyle, our enjoyments. We don't stop doing this or that or the other because we have a baby. We take the baby. We teach the baby. We enjoy the experience of teaching the baby to be active and interact and socialize and learn and and and....
Yes, we might time things differently t ensure great naps for happy children. We have carseats in our vehicles which makes driving friends around less of an option. But there are upswings to kids. The smiles. The I love yous. The learning. The first time riding a bike without training wheels.
It's all a matter of what's best for each person and couple individually. :) Sorry this got so long, but I enjoyed your post. I'm out blog hopping today. Happy Thursday!
Thanks so much for the comment! Couldn't agree with you more. Happy you enjoyed the post and Happy Thursday to you too.
ReplyDeleteHey Leigh! Count me as one of the women you know who isn't going to have kids. I know a lot of such women. Not sure if that's more a factor of living in NYC or the types of people I associate with.
ReplyDeleteGood for you Carrie. I do think NYC has a tendency to be pretty divided... You're either career-minded there, and forgo having kids for a lengthy period of time or entirely, or you're a stoller-happy suburbanite who spends far too much time comparing your kids' abilities, hobbies and extra-curricular activities with the kids of other mommies, who you pretend to like. (OKay, maybe that's a bit harsh, but that's totally the vibe I get from the NYC mom).
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